ummm...yah...I probably should get goin now...

Now I’ve been hearin' all this talk about Crazy bitches…Hey KH tell me if this sounds crazy…Hey KH we got a code 5 clinger…Hey KH this bitch crazy dawg…So I dedided to make an informational piece about crazy bitches/flips...

Now before you go off the ringer callin Jack a misogynist…be more open-minded…don’t consider this as derogatory but more so as informative…although some of the following may be obvious to some…it ain’t to others, and those are the ones who we’re concerned about.

Now if you don’t know if you’re in this category…I’ve comprised a comprehensive list that will help you recognize weather you fit the role (some psycho fellas may fit the role as well) …
Just a few tell tell signs:

1. If I’ve known you for less than 3 months and you’re telling me “I love you,” come on ma…a bit too much…
2. If you continually tell me “I love you” and I don’t give you the reciprocal response…I say something along the lines of…“thanks” or “Oh okay” or “that’s coo”…
3. If you just met someone and you get there number and you’re waitin’ and actually getting saddened by them not callin’, then you receive a Mass text that he sent out to everyone and you’re suddenly elated…yah then you're proly one of them...
4. If you go on any network site (i.e. facebook or myspace) and pretend like you’re someone else to gain insight about me…you crazy (Don’t do that, set up a dummy account just to start drama.)
5. Don’t after you meet me, start adopting all my shit like it’s yours…don’t copy my style, don’t take my jokes, don’t take my accessories, don’t start watchin the shit I watch, and don’t take my damn ring tones…You Crazy!
6. If I put it to you politely that we’re not really compatible and I didn’t want to lead you on and your response is… “That was like a knife to the heart…” (damn that’s jus too crazy…don’t use metaphors and images like that…)
7. If I’ve known you for less than 3 months and you wanna know where I’ve been at all times…yah you crazy…
8. If you keep askin me “Do you think I’m pretty…” and I keep finding ways to avoid the response…you proly crazy…If I thought you were pretty I would have been told you that you were…obviously we ain’t got it like that…
9. This one’s for the flips: If you get 7 pumps or less(yah jus wanted to get the nut goin)'…chances are you’re jus a flip…
10. If the only time you see me is when I’m dehydrated (thirsty as hell) than chances are…yah…you’re proly one of them…
11. Back to the crazies: if you’re given me outlandish compliments that you and I both know aren’t true but you’ve somehow convinced yourself that they are…you’re proly psycho… “You’re the most talented and funniest and charming person I ever met…” “You’re jus so clever and magnetic it permeates through your body and I feel a sensation when we touch…” (Something you should keep to yourself…even if you do feel that way about me…um…jus hold on to that until we at least b/f and g/f cause you’re creepin' me out…”
12. If you got my name tattooed on you…come on…fa real…you can’t be serious….

**Bonus** If you’re with a chick and you have to rationalize why she’s young (under the age of 18) you’re a perv…sayin things like… “I usually don’t even fuck wit young girls but she don’t act her age”…”I mean she don’t even look 16”… or here’s a good one… “I mean the way she put her feet behinds her head I jus knew shawty wasn’t as young as she said…she was doin grown women moves…” Yah you’re def a perv…

Embrace your Booshie...

Yup…Jack Jack…had an interesting time last night…went out to "socialize"...which lead to a series of events...that eventually got me to thinking…with this “embrace your boosie” comment bein' culmination of the night. And you’re prolly wonderin’ where this comment came from…

Let me set the seen. (brief over view)
There’s six of us…two males and four chicks…fours blacks and two whites (two of the chicks were white)(basically)…and we’re out eatin’ sushi. (Yah I know…Jack Jack eatin’ sushi…I thought he kept it hood…there’s a first for everything, expand your horizons, and on top of that Mr. KH never claimed to be hood…he simply wear’s his dick below his waist)…and various topics arose among which being the topic of race, but the scenario didn’t go down as one might assume. It was like some freaky matrix role reversal type shit.

Let me explain…

So we’re socializing…talking about the basics (you know)…who you know…what you do…where you chill…(the insipid b.s. strangers talk about to make each other seem not so strange) and the two whites kept talking bout hood type shit and all the black people were talking bout like upper echelon type shit…and I thought that was the funniest shit…Not only did the blacks talk about the Booshie things…but they did it in such a condescending tone that the whites felt a little slighted…For example: the little stumpy white chick said something about goin to a N**** club and two of the blacks looked at each other and just gave each other the biggest “she can’t be serious” laugh…

So dinner ended and we parted ways…The Blacks went one way and the whites another…and that’s when most of the uppity speech began…which is coo…cause if you gone sit here and say you don’t judge every person you meet…you’re a got damn lie….but this got me to thinking because I made a comment somewhere along the line of: “I’m a poor black boy from Mississippi”…and they quickly shot the shit down…sayin, “what’s that have to do with where you are?”…you’re an educated black man…why keep it hood? There's nothing cool about keeping it hood.
“Embrace your Booshie…” Which basically equated to it’s not where you were its where you’re at. Although I said what I said in a tone of sarcasm it got me to wonderin' a bit...

What determines who you identify yourself with…or essentially what determines who you are?

Is it colour? Is it demographic of people you grow up around? Is it the type of people you admire and strive to be? Or is just Psychological conditioning…

Not sure if it really matters anyway… As long as you’re happy with whatever you are…go head and be that…

I just can’t Roll wit that/ I can’t fuck wit you…

1. You a grown man…and you still refer to yourself with initials. (ie: PJ, BJ. AJ, JB, or C-Bear) {I definantly ain’t callin no damn grown man, BJ}

2. You a chick that ain’t black but only dates black guys…but the black guys you select are just hood as shit…{talking bout I just like things to be simple…can’t roll wit it…}


3. If you a grown man and aint’t got no muscles…{Wtf? You grown dawg…I’ma need you to go head and look like it…}

4. If you honestly think lil W**** is the best rapper ever let alone alive…(even he gotta side-eye you on that one)


5. If you handcuffin bitches…{If we in the club and your bitch is choosin, don’t go grab your chick by the arm…come on dawg…she choosin!} (Goes for you too ladies, don’t go grab ur friend when you see her tryna get freak witcha boy…it’s Jack Jack baby…)


6. If you’re a wigger…Not sure if you’re a wigger? If you meet any of the following qualifications:
a. Talk with a blacksent…(Where you from? You must be from the fourth ward...Naw I grew up in San Diego my whole life…Bitch wtf? Then why are you talkin like that...)
b. Primarily listen to hip hop…(and drop the N-bomb when you listenin by yourself)
c. You over 30 and all you do is name drop N****s (Oh Tyrone…Yah we used to be real close back in the day…)
d. You wear “urban attire” but the shit be like at least 6 month out dated…(Is that guy wearin Fubu? I think he is…)

(I just can't take you seriously)

7. If you a grown man and all you listen too is R & B…(come on dawg…that’s jus suspect enough…)

8. You a grown man and you analyzing what I got on… (Unless you’re openly gay…not coo…)

9. If you Black and voted for O**** and truly thought that that was going to make your life any better…(Did you really expect a change [for the better]? This ain’t fantasy island…)

10. If you ever considered Cash 4 Gold as being legitimate…(come on…you coulda got thrice as much as the pawn shop on 54th…)

Never look a friend in the eye…

Have you ever looked your friend in the eye…That’s a question I had to ask myself recently…And I had to come to some type of honest conclusion…Which was: rarely do I face the eye of friend …It’s not that I make a conscious effort to avoid eye contact…it just systematically tends to work out that way…Strangers, no problem…No problem at all looking into the eye of a stranger...perhaps its because there's nothing at stake...it's simply an innocuous exchange...there's nothing really to build upon or severe because there was nothing there to begin with...

But with friends there’s something different…and I began to think…Why?
And I came to the deduction that maybe its healthier that way…maybe things flow smoother that way...maybe friends should never look each other in the eye…perhaps the foundation of "friendness" shouldn't be shaken...because once the eyes lock, the illusions built up could/can never be the same…Mutual facades are forced to wane and waver…and that’s just too much to endure…and Unless you’re willing to confront these mutual truths, perhaps it’s best that friends not look each other eye to eye…

It’s fair game to look towards, to look by, to even look through…but unless you’re ready to take on the responsibility of accepting truths you won’t understand…it’s maybe best that you keep the eye contact to a minimum…

Tears from the Twin Turbs...

Khthon’s Reflection/Analysis…Words of Proverb:
My insight in the Twin Turbs

People… From this I learned that people identify too much with what they have. Why associate who you are with what you have? What does that gain but getting you pissed off in the long run…Because in the end, your insecurities will always get the best of you…There’s always someone with more… and if your self-value is derived from what you have…in your mind there will always be someone “better” than you (the great tragedy)…We all to some extent derive our sense of self from the decisions we make or from the things we have, but how much you vest your sense of self from these is the major determinant…So in this particular instance coach derived his sense of identity from the object…way too much…and us attacking the twin turbos…attacked who “he” was… Let’s learn from this experience and not be muthafuckas….

Not D’s TWIN TURBOS muthafucka!

(Names have been changed to protect the weak…and if this sounds like you…sucks to be you…also story told in any linear recount I choose…)


Get a Job Muthfucka! Yes this is the message I hear yelled out of Scion…Echoing in my mind as I get into the passenger seat of a 94 Lex…I look at my dude Freaky…And in a state of denial I ask Freaky “what did he Just say…” Yup he jus yelled at me, to get a job…and he said it with such disdain and such venom that it just left a bad taste in my mouth…And if you know anything about me (which you don’t) you’d know my response…I turned to my dude Freaky! (names are altered to protect the innocent) and was like… “Are we supposed to be offended by that?” {cause you know we shoot on each other all day everyday} and he responded “yah… how can we be offended if we volunteered that information…how’s that even offensive?”

Well let me go back in time to better put the situation in perspective…
So before I go on…I feel I should ensure you that Jack E Khthon does not promote unemployment or the foolery’s there of. But Yah…I ain’t got no job…but that’s not the point of the story…The point of the story is this middle aged white man had the nerve to attack Jack and Freak Freak over some bullshit as though we’d actual be hurt or what not.
(coach)

Which is sad because we realize this man who we have a pretty decent relationship was the one actually hurt. Yah it started off with him(let’s jus call him coach) getting a new car…and he had like a economical station wagon type get up…


and he upgraded it to a scion. So Freaky’s like: “I’m glad you got a new car cause I’ve been waitin to shoot on the stationwagon…That car was so weak…you know you ain’t gettin no bitches in a damn station wagon…How you gone pick up a bitch in the station wagon…” and Coach responds with “You wish you had a car like this…this bitch has Twin Turbos…” and this was the turning point…

Yah the turning point…because at that point we thought…okay this guy must be jokin…
1. Who brags about drivin a station Wagon?
2. Who puts Twin Turbos in a station Wagon?
3. Who gets a stationwagon with the intent of makin it go fast?

So we assume it’s a joke from that point on…And the next time we see coach it happens to be at a Taco Shop…and he ask me…”Hey did you get new tires…” [yah Jack Jack is rollin in an 88 honda…so…] and we see that as an open invitation to shoot…so Freaky says “so you jus gone shoot on this man’s car knowin you got twin turbos…” and me and Freaky start bustin up…but I guess at this point coach is heated…he gets in his car and plays his rap music and drives off…the next day we see him at the gym…and he’s visibly upset…he’s avoiding us…and cussin & shit after our team smashed his in hoopin…and in the parking lot Freaky is like “Stop coach right quick…” so I stop coach as he begins to drive off and I’m like “Coach! Coach! Does that new Scion have Twin Turbos??” and he gives me the biggest Fuck You Ass-hole face possible…and he speeds off he yells “Get a job MUTHUFUCKA!”

Now this is where our troubles begin…because at this point we’re baffled…but we quickly dismiss it…But Freaky attempts to text coach…no response…calls…no response…and we have a pretty decent relationship with this man…so this is noticeable change…we’ve broke bread with this man…we’ve let this man puff the pine in front of us…(KH doesn’t promote the consumption of illegal narcotics) so we’re intrigued by his level of Pist-offness…So freaky decides to stop by this man’s house and he invites him in…and Freaky’s like “Coach you okay? You’ve been actin real crazy lately…we said somethin about twin turbos and you snapped…” and the man loses it… sayin shit like “You broke muthafuckas shouldn’t be dissin my car! It’s a $35,000 car… blah ditty blah blah blah…” and Freaky responds with… “damn can I jus get a hug…”

And the story comes to an end with Jack E Khthon and Freaky…Baffled by why this middle aged white man would be so offended by two unemployed 20 sumthin yr olds…

Congrats to the New Super Bowl Champions !!

Top 25 Questions of this year's Super Bowl

1. Doesn't Michael Tomlin and Omar Epps look alike ?
2. Why did Dockett dip into the super lunge while baring his teeth and foaming at the mouth ?
3. Can we make jokes about Somalian pirates ? on NBC ? too soon maybe ?
4. Shouldn't we have known that the Cardinals had no chance when they let a line backer run the ENTIRE field for a touchdown ?
5. Was I the only one who thought he was injured ? I mean, why was he laid out in the end zone ?
6. Oxygen anyone ?
7. A safety ? really ?
8. Did Holmes learn that toe point in ballet ?
9. Did the lack of oxygen cause him to punch an athlete in the back and then toss him down the field ?
10. So no one else thought Harrison was channeling another angry athlete with an interesting voice ?
11. Did you sigh in relief when the Boss did not jump on the piano?
12. So did that microphone file for sexual assault ?
13. C'mon, did you see what the saxophone player was wearing ?
14. Did he have a chiropractor on hand for all those guitar swings ?
15. Did the camera file for assault ?
16. Did you see the owner's suspenders ?
17. Is he really going to Disneyland ? after putting down the guacamole and tenders first, of course
18. So where was the Cadillac ?
19. Did the Gatorade ever actually get on Tomlin ?
20. Why was your assistant coach around for the FIRST Superbowl ?
21. Namath played in Superbowl THREE ?
22. Weren't the commercials more than a little lame ?
23. Are you going to get your free grand slam ?
24. Is SOBE trying to sabotage themselves ? maybe, they are hoping for a bailout?
25. Porn stars in a web ad ?

Feel free to quote, but please give credit where credit is due