Sunday, February 1, 2009

Not D’s TWIN TURBOS muthafucka!





(Names have been changed to protect the weak…and if this sounds like you…sucks to be you…also story told in any linear recount I choose…)


Get a Job Muthfucka! Yes this is the message I hear yelled out of Scion…Echoing in my mind as I get into the passenger seat of a 94 Lex…I look at my dude Freaky…And in a state of denial I ask Freaky “what did he Just say…” Yup he jus yelled at me, to get a job…and he said it with such disdain and such venom that it just left a bad taste in my mouth…And if you know anything about me (which you don’t) you’d know my response…I turned to my dude Freaky! (names are altered to protect the innocent) and was like… “Are we supposed to be offended by that?” {cause you know we shoot on each other all day everyday} and he responded “yah… how can we be offended if we volunteered that information…how’s that even offensive?”

Well let me go back in time to better put the situation in perspective…
So before I go on…I feel I should ensure you that Jack E Khthon does not promote unemployment or the foolery’s there of. But Yah…I ain’t got no job…but that’s not the point of the story…The point of the story is this middle aged white man had the nerve to attack Jack and Freak Freak over some bullshit as though we’d actual be hurt or what not.
(coach)

Which is sad because we realize this man who we have a pretty decent relationship was the one actually hurt. Yah it started off with him(let’s jus call him coach) getting a new car…and he had like a economical station wagon type get up…


and he upgraded it to a scion. So Freaky’s like: “I’m glad you got a new car cause I’ve been waitin to shoot on the stationwagon…That car was so weak…you know you ain’t gettin no bitches in a damn station wagon…How you gone pick up a bitch in the station wagon…” and Coach responds with “You wish you had a car like this…this bitch has Twin Turbos…” and this was the turning point…

Yah the turning point…because at that point we thought…okay this guy must be jokin…
1. Who brags about drivin a station Wagon?
2. Who puts Twin Turbos in a station Wagon?
3. Who gets a stationwagon with the intent of makin it go fast?

So we assume it’s a joke from that point on…And the next time we see coach it happens to be at a Taco Shop…and he ask me…”Hey did you get new tires…” [yah Jack Jack is rollin in an 88 honda…so…] and we see that as an open invitation to shoot…so Freaky says “so you jus gone shoot on this man’s car knowin you got twin turbos…” and me and Freaky start bustin up…but I guess at this point coach is heated…he gets in his car and plays his rap music and drives off…the next day we see him at the gym…and he’s visibly upset…he’s avoiding us…and cussin & shit after our team smashed his in hoopin…and in the parking lot Freaky is like “Stop coach right quick…” so I stop coach as he begins to drive off and I’m like “Coach! Coach! Does that new Scion have Twin Turbos??” and he gives me the biggest Fuck You Ass-hole face possible…and he speeds off he yells “Get a job MUTHUFUCKA!”

Now this is where our troubles begin…because at this point we’re baffled…but we quickly dismiss it…But Freaky attempts to text coach…no response…calls…no response…and we have a pretty decent relationship with this man…so this is noticeable change…we’ve broke bread with this man…we’ve let this man puff the pine in front of us…(KH doesn’t promote the consumption of illegal narcotics) so we’re intrigued by his level of Pist-offness…So freaky decides to stop by this man’s house and he invites him in…and Freaky’s like “Coach you okay? You’ve been actin real crazy lately…we said somethin about twin turbos and you snapped…” and the man loses it… sayin shit like “You broke muthafuckas shouldn’t be dissin my car! It’s a $35,000 car… blah ditty blah blah blah…” and Freaky responds with… “damn can I jus get a hug…”

And the story comes to an end with Jack E Khthon and Freaky…Baffled by why this middle aged white man would be so offended by two unemployed 20 sumthin yr olds…

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